Playing the Game of Marriage

Francis and Margot Macomber seem to be a happy couple: young, good-looking, famous, rich, envied and admired.

Except they’re not.

Their marriage is riddled with crises (he drinks, she has affairs), yet they remain stuck with each other for 11 years as they have “a sound basis of union. Margot was too beautiful for Macomber to divorce her and Macomber had too much money for Margot ever to leave him.”

During their African safari trip, Francis runs away in terror from a wounded lion and Margot despises him more than ever. Sharp-tongued and ruthless, she kisses their guide, Wilson, in the presence of her husband, and later that night she has a rendezvous with him which she doesn’t keep a secret. The next day, not feeling any fear whatsoever, only pure hatred and anger towards Wilson, Margot and probably himself, Francis kills a formidable buffalo and, for the first time in his life, he experiences pure happiness. Margot’s realization of her husband’s incredible metamorphosis determines her to shoot him in the back of his head.

The actual death at the end of Hemingway’s short story purely reflects the death of the couple’s relationship that happened long before.

How did they get to a point beyond repair? 

To start with, the very foundation of their marriage was a hollow sham: Francis considered his wife a trophy, one of his possessions to be envied for; Margot saw her husband as a commodity, a secure source of income that would satisfy her every whim.

They weren’t happy with each other because, essentially, possessions cannot grant you happiness.

They can offer you the illusion of stability until the truth makes its way to the surface, as it always does, and compels you to make a decision.

The trip to the darkest part of Africa was the trip on which they came face-to-face with the darkest truths about themselves and their marriage. By overcoming his fear, Francis (re)discovered who he was: a man able to stand his ground and ready to take control of his life. Had he lived, he would have probably divorced his wife without hesitation. In contrast, inundated with the fear of change, she didn’t hesitate to get rid of the man who could jeopardize her pleasurable, carefree lifestyle.

At its core, Francis and Margot’s story is the story of many dysfunctional married couples – one in which people don’t care about the rules of marriage, or they care to a little extent, hoping to get away with it.

Marriage is a unique union. A vow and a sacrament. It is not a game.

“What happens when you get married?” asked Jordan Peterson in one of his lectures. “You find someone as imperfect as you are, you shackle yourself to him/her and say: ‘You’re not running away.’ And you start to negotiate.”

How do we negotiate? Well, if you ask me, start by telling the truth and expecting the truth in return.

Nevertheless, if one makes a huge mistake, how do you renegotiate?

Is it worth renegotiating?